DCaffeinated

New town, new blog

2005-08-26T21:52:00.000-05:00

Feel free to check out life in Austin, Texas.

This is the end, my friends.

2005-06-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

Adieu. I end my job today (in five, four, three...), and the gf and I start on the road trip on Sunday morning. Maybe I'll update this a few times over the summer, but I ain't making no promises to nobody I don't know. In the fall I may come back to blogging, but I'll be based out of Austin, Texas, so a DC-themed blog probably doesn't make the most sense.

word.

Ted Leo, what what

2005-06-24T08:56:00.000-05:00

If you couldn't get a ticket to last night's sold-out Ted Leo show, you can go thank your local high schooler. They showed up early and in force.

Mary Timony, same as always, comes across as a cross between Kim Deal and Liz Phair. Personally, I love the tunes, just as I did in 1996, but the lyrics and vocals leave something to be desired. Sorry to rag, but my time is short.

Radio 4, yeah. At first they sounded a lot like Q and Not U, with the same funk infused rhythm and energetic dancing. But then I realized that they were epileptic and having seizures on stage. Decent opening act nonetheless. I think that they could go really far since the lead singer looks like Paul Simon and the guitarist looks just like that dude from The State and Wet, Hot American Summer, Michael Showalter, so yeah they could break into the OC crowd.

Before I get to Ted Leo, let me just say respect to the kid in the front row wearing the yarmukle. My only suggestion would be to get a more fashionable pattern. Traditional is good when you want a traditional lady, but you were at a Ted Leo show, so I'm thinking that you might want your girl to be a little more hip and cutting edge. Meet her halfway.

Alright, back to what counts, Ted Leo rocking out. Internet hype or no, the man can put on a show. The crowd was into him being there, and he kept up his usual rapport with the audience. And he blazed through a solid set of songs. A- on the music and sound, A+ on the concert experience.

And for bonus hipness, here is an excerpt from his website:

SOARING TICKET PRICES!!
Yikes! I just got a very welcome e-mail from a guy going to the 9:30 this week informing me of insane surcharges on the tickets he purchased. I must heartily apologize to any and all who have experienced this as well. Honestly, I didn't even look into who was handling ticketing for this show, but of course, the culprit (if you don't go directly through the club) is... yeah, you guessed it: Ticketmaster. And of course, as I now look at my own web-site, I see that there's a Ticketmaster link below a bunch of the shows... DUH... Man, am I sorry about this. Alright, well anyway, I present, for your perusal, our conversation below, and ask you to accept my apologies to the "D" as apologies to you as well. We'll stay on top of it, I promise...

On Jun 11, 2005, at 4:21 PM, D**** wrote:
Hey, this email might be better sent to your bookign agent, but I was wondering why you book with clubs that use the great evil that is ticketmaster? Is it because they usually are larger venues or is this just something you don't normally pay attention to? I'm only asking because I was buying a ticket to your show at the 9:30 club in Washington DC, which is 12 dollars, but with all the extra surcharges, it becomes a $25 dollar show. I hate to sound whiny, even though that's probably what I'm coming off as, but do you think that on future tours you could support smaller venues, or is that just not an option?
Thanks, D*****

-- Response:
Ouch! That is rough, man -- I'm sorry about that. I just tried to buy a ticket through Ticketmaster myself, and found that if I chose to pick it up at the venue, it comes out to just under $20, which is still ridiculous, but not $25 -- did you ask them to overnight it to you or something? It sucks, either way, I know... One option would have been to buy them directly from the 9:30 box office, but that doesn't really help you at this point, either... Ticketmaster is an organization that has never really been a part of our equation before, and assuming that on-line ticketing would be done through the club (as it is at most of the places we've been playing for the past many many years) we didn't really look into what was going on with it for this particular show. Oddly enough, though, one thing I do know about Ticketmaster, is that the DC Ticketmaster franchise is the only one in the country that wasn't bought out by the larger corporation, and thus, remains independent of much of their shittiness. Apparently not enough of it, though! Be that as it may, when we have only one night to spend in a town, we have to face the crappy choice of having more than half of the people who might want to see us not be able to get in by playing the smaller clubs we've all been accustomed to, or going with the bigger clubs (9:30 in DC, Irving Plaza in NYC, etc.). And I don't mean to diss the 9:30 -- it's an amazing club, that we're psyched to be able to "move up" to -- but in essence, it's the spike in attendance that's why we're there this time around, and not doing multiple nights at the Black Cat, like last time. For instance, in December, at the Cat, we did two nights, with each night over-selling to 800+ people in a 600 capacity club. We simply can't stay for multiple nights on this trip, so we had to go with the 9:30, which has a 1200 capacity, still, possibly locking some people out, but considerably less than had we gone with the Cat again for only one night. You can't really just block out 2/3 of the people who want to come see you, so unfortunately, small venues aren't really an option sometimes. We are, however, extremely conscientious about the "business" side of our business. I've spent the last "x" amount of years of my life playing small venues, and learning how to control the things you need to, while allowing your "thing" to grow, and you can bet that there's a reason for just about every choice I (and Mahmood, my booking agent) make. This time, however, things were being booked while I was overseas for months, blah, blah, blah, not much of an excuse, I know... and it seems like we dropped the ball. I apologize for that. I'm sorry you had such a frustrating experience -- I'll be sure to look deeper into ticketing issues for the next tour! Thanks.
--TL
P.S. -- I hope you won't mind me putting this conversation on my website, in case there are others who are wondering what you are as well. I'll delete your name and e-mail addy. Thanks!

So sorry about this everybody!
Always Learning,
--Ted

DC once, DC forever.

All in all, I've had a solid couple of weeks of concerts (Old 97's, Bloc Party, and TL+P), and feeling good as I head out of town.

The internet is for conversations that I just can't have with my co-workers

2005-06-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

Whole heartedly lifted from Sue and Not U. I was going to just link it, but then I remembered that I don't click on random links on people's blogs, so why should I expect you too. But I encourage you to check hers out, cause its all about the hits, right?

Neurotica
Strolling down U St. yesterday afternoon, Kriston and I passed by the grime-covered, dilapidated storefront of Exotic Pleasures—a depressing, lurid establishment that seems to have weathered a great deal, but never a customer.

K: Guh, how does that place stay in business?

Me: I know. Who would want to fulfill their pleasures there?

K: Wasn't there one of those by your old house in Austin? It was all hip, and...

Me: ...earthy, and "Oooh, I'm so comfortable with my sexuality." [pause] Although, I imagine it would be strange to have an exotic pleasures store that was not comfortable with sexuality.

K: That would be pretty great. A repressed sex shop.

Me: Yeah, your toy could come with flagellation devices so you could go "Oh God, I hate myself!"

K: And the videos they sell would just show a man and a woman sitting on a bed, and him going "I swear this never happens."

Me: And she's all, "Oh, it's really okay! It's normal!"

K: And then that's the end.

Me: The name of the store could be: Crying While Masturbating. For Catholics.

Prepping the new home

2005-06-22T08:39:00.000-05:00

In the midst of the drag 'em out, knock 'em down slug-fest of a Spurs-Pistons Game 6, I had the distinct pleasure of watching the season premiere of Real World 16: Austin. Whoo-wee! Not only was I able to say "I've been there! I've been there!", but some cast member got fucking cold cocked on his second night of bar crawling, literally getting his face broken! Go MTV! As for the guy who beat his ass, I am sure that he was so excited to get his fifteen minutes of fame in front of the MTV cameras by punching some drunk dude who was on the ground, that he completely forgot that he was committing assault on film. Good move wise guy. Not that I object to the drunken, fratbags getting hassled by the locals, but please. I hope that your dumb ass is in jail and off of 6th Street by the time I get down there.

Aside from the injection of dramatic violence, the rest of the episode is just a repetition of what these kids think that the Real World Genre is all about. The first thing that they did was get drunk and sit in the hot tub. Then they got two of the girls to kiss. Then they all got in the shower together. Then they went out and got really drunk. A girl started dancing on the bar, a guy tried to be protective of her, they yelled at each other. Guy storms off, and everyone tries to find him on the streets of Austin, you know rather than going back to the house. Then they get in a fight with random dudes on the street.

Yup, the first episode was a cross between the entire fourth season of Real World and a single episode of the OC. What's next on the list? I'm betting that the blonde girl who walks around the apartment in her underwear ("at home I walk around in my bra and panties in front of my parents") gets fucked by one of the dudes in the house. Even money.

-Oh and for those of you who said that the NBA finals were going to suck, we got us a game 7! A series hasn't gone that long for eleven years. These two teams want it. And my hatred of Manu Ginobli's flops grows inside of me everyday. Fucking hack. I don't like floppers in soccer, and they definitely don't belong in basketball. The NBA should start handing out technical fouls for players who try to draw imaginary fouls.

I just thought that the world had "gone gay"

2005-06-21T11:31:00.000-05:00

Thank god for the New York Times. I was walking to work this morning, and my gaydar was going ding-ding-ding! Gays to the left of me Gays to the right. They were everywhere. Then I realized that it wasn't just me who was having trouble: "Gay or Straight? Hard to Tell". Oh my savior of cultural news that is about six months out of date! Hopefully by the time that I am 45 and completely out of touch with modern culture, I too can glean nuggets of fashionably late information from your doddering pages!

Road Trip!

2005-06-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

Three and a half more days of work. Then a summer on the road. Who knew that quitting your job and moving halfway across the country could be so stressful? I'm really hoping that once Friday rolls around, all of the little things that didn't get done will pass on, and the gf and I can enjoy six weeks driving around the country.

After two months of dragging our asses planning (well, of my dragging my ass planning) we finally came up with an itinerary that hits most of places we want to see. Sure we'll be rolling through some places quicker than I'd like, but I only have so much time and money. Tough-titties.

1. Columbus, OH. Yeah, I know, we have a place to crash and its halfway to
2. Chicago
3. Badlands, SD and Mount Rushmore
4. Glacier National Park
5. Spokane, WA, the Grand Coulee Dam, and the North Cascades
6. Seattle
7. Olympic Peninsula
8. Washington, Oregon, and Northern California Coast.
9. San Francisco
10. Yosemite
11. The godless city of LA
12. Zion, North Rim of the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Arches, Canyonlands, Moab
13. Santa Fe, NM
14. Austin, TX

Just typing it all out gets me jittery with excitement. Kinda like sex, only more family friendly.

If you have some thoughts about must see places in or between these locales, it is not too late to have an impact on "The Greatest Road Trip Ever Taken By Me!" as this event has been labeled for publicities sake. And if you check back in over the next few weeks, there might just be some updates and photos to evoke public commentary. Who knows, there might even be some witty stories that poke fun at the trashiness that is the heartland of America. Wow, it is like one big mystery.

-As I wrote this I found a link to a friend, who is doing a waaaaaay cooler road trip this summer, fifty state capitals in fifty days. Pretty nifty. Makes my little trip look shabby in comparison. I will now go cry.

Oh yeah, like a new Giant was enough.

2005-06-20T18:34:00.000-05:00

I know that I've been running around preparing for my grand exit, and I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should have, but I would swear that I just saw an aisle full of beer and wine at the unSafeway on Columbia. WTF? The only consolation that I can take from this new found convenience is that now the always functional cheese, deli meat, butter aisle is now half the size and selection. Oh yeah, and they don't have room for saltines! Go Team Gentrification!

Eviction is a depressing thing.

2005-06-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

Someone just got kicked out of their public housing on Harvard. Its depressing to see all of the miscellaneous crap that was haphazardly dragged out of their apartment. Its even more depressing that I wasn't sure that it wasn't just a poorly timed yard-sale or a garage cleaning until I saw the security guard blocking the door. Put a bummer on my night.

Weekend Bar Bitch

2005-06-20T08:43:00.000-05:00

Somehow in a three day weekend, there is always more than enough time to drink and actually be productive.

Friday started out with a trip to REI to purchase a tent and other assorted gear for ~~this summer's~~ next week's road trip. After fiddling around the rest of the day, the gf and I met up with out mother's for dinner at Ardeo. Aside from the restaurant being absolutely dead at 7:30 on a Friday night, the food was pretty good for the $16-22 entree range. I'd be in no hurry to go back, but if someone said they were going, I'd tell them that they made a good choice.

Next was a meet-up with some friends in Dupont, where we had a $10 foofy drink at Firefly before heading over to Lucky Bar. Firefly good, Lucky Bar baaaaaaaaad. First of all, no one should ever have to wait in line to get into Lucky Bar. The line was longer and slower than next door at MCCXXIII. Second, at some point in my life, I would have agreed with the following statement: "Seeing a girl who is enjoying grinding with two dudes on the dance-floor is a decent indicator of a place with the potential to be very interesting." I am clearly no longer at that place in my life. Watching the creepy 35-year olds stare at the trashy, trashed interns dancing made me very uncomfortable. Luckily we were able to grab our acquaintances and head over to the Big Hunt, where we could sit, drink, and not feel like filthy old men.

Saturday brunch with the future-in-laws was at 15 Ria. Good food, no problem getting a table outside, terrible service. You make the call. The rest of the day was a blur of boxes and packing tape. The good news is that I'm almost ready to go.

Saturday night was Wonderlandful. Well, it would have been if we weren't playing Goldielocks. The downstairs was too smoky, and the upstairs had a godawful DJ playing techno-crap at a volume that was deafening. After a few more songs that DJs switched, and we got a more tolerable volume of good reggae and hip-hop. Pints of Racer 5, until bedtime. At some point there was dancing involved, but I think that may reveal too much of the evening. All I can say is "Vaginica?"

Sunday was a hell of planning and packing at Lauren's, but progress was made. An itinerary for the road trip was finalized, but we still have enough flexibility to take a few extra days wherever we like (it'll be posted later today for public comments). Then Father's Day dinner was going great until I saw that on the back of one of the ties that I had bought for my father it read (no shitting you) "Please remove before sex." At that point, I couldn't take the painfully stilted conversation between my parents and their college friends that followed. Thinking about it just sent a shiver up my spine.

Then there was the basketball game....until way past my bedtime. Robert Horry, Robert Horry, Robert motherfucking Horry. How do you not guard that fucker? How?

No Sleep 'til...

2005-06-17T00:23:00.000-05:00

After work nap. Coffee. Bloc Party.

Amazing. For those of you unable to acquire tickets, I am truly sorry. Although I would have loved to have seen you there rather than the beefcake bonanza that it appeared to be at times, you missed a great concert at which the band played a really tight set while staying loose on stage. I'm hard pressed to say who I got a bigger kick out of, the lead singer, Kele Okereke, who played off of the crowd, taking flowers, requests, and dollar bills, or the drummer, Matt Tong, who rocked out with his bouncing feathered hair and trash-'stash galore (perhaps there'll be pictures later!).

Thoughts from the evening:

1. Now I know what bands do when they only have one album. They play every song on the album without question. You'll have to check out some other blog for a set list, but off the top of my head, I don't think they played a song that wasn't on the album. And I don't think that they missed any songs either. 14 songs on a Thursday night is good enough for me.

2. Early on in the show there were balloons bouncing around the crowd. Then, once a balloon landed on stage and Kele picked it up and said something about it, they all disappeared into people hands. No more fun bouncing balloons. One woman ended up with two of them. What the hell are you going to do with a balloon from a concert? Hang it on your wall until it shrivels up like testicles in cold water? Fucking lame DC, fucking lame.

3. No dancing. For once I'm not going to blame the DC hardcore scene or the crowd for this one. After some introspective thought, I came up with two reasons why people no longer dance at concerts. A. People come to see the bands. When they dance, or are surrounded by people bouncing up and down, they can no longer focus solely on the band and the music. As a corollary to this point, people pay too much money to casually attend and not pay attention to the band. B. Since concerts have become a major moneymaker for bands and venues, the venues pack in as many paying customers as possible, making it impossible to comfortably dance without elbowing your neighbor. No space=no dancing. These two points don't even touch on the growing self-consciousness of American adolescents and young adults.

4. Before the encore, the crowd just sat there expectantly. No real sign of appreciation or strong desire to drag the band back out. Sure, there were two technicians on stage tuning, but if I was in the band, and the audience wasn't clapping and chanting, I wouldn't come back out on stage. Weird. But then again the whole night was a little off. Like the older DC-indie crowd had gone to the Modest Mouse concert, leaving the younger kids who didn't know their ass from a whole in the wall to act like spoiled brats. Just a random thought.

5. I'm kinda glad that I didn't go to see the Pixies/Bloc Party on Monday night because I'd bet that they played the same set. Since they don't have any other songs. Maybe I'm wrong though. I frequently am. Hopefully they'll come to Austin on their next tour. Cause they fucking rocked like stars.

6. Why don't I get coffee more frequently at shows? The legs never got tired, the mind never drifted too far... Oh yeah, cause now I can't sleep. Thank god I'm taking tomorrow off. Suckers. (is it wrong to make fun of your readers?)

Batman Begins is to Mr. And Mrs. Smith like....

2005-06-16T10:36:00.000-05:00

...Heart of Darkness is to Catch-22.

Hahahahahahahaha. Hahahahaha.

Seriously, though, if you like summer fluff (and who doesn't love fluffers?) these two films give you action-plus. Plus what you might ask, well Batman Begins gives you action plus a dark look at how humanity struggles to destroy evil without becoming evil itself, while Mr. And Mrs. Smith gives you action plus sexual tension. Man, I was almost able to write that with cracking a smile. Look, neither of these movies is going to enter into the canon of film, but they're good enough to be enjoyable. Certainly comparable to everything here. And better than SWAT. Maybe even better than Bad Boys II. Yes, that good.

Morning Headlines: 2 for 1 squared

2005-06-16T10:11:00.000-05:00

Filed under "Shit, you mean that I have to get re-elected to keep this job," 1. the House voted to repeal some of the most offensive parts of the Patriot Act 2. GOP leaders begin quest to stop screwing the American people on Social Security

On the lighter side, we have two happy family stories, 1. Alzheimer's isn't so bad when the kids cash in on Deep Throat 2. apparently that little lady down in Florida really was a zombie.

Its days like this when I start to question why I even bother to read the newspaper. If I stuck to blogs, I could have been knee deep in hearing how the Washingtonienne gettin' served up a heapin' pile of court order at her reading last night.

This just in: Offensively anti-intellectual Heritage Foundation continues to support poor research

2005-06-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

Surprise, surprise, without resorting to rigorous methodology, the Heritage Foundation has released a study stating that teens who take virginity pledge are less likely to engage in sexual behavior or have an STD.

Independent experts called the new findings provocative, but criticized the Heritage team's analysis as flawed and lacking the statistical evidence to back its conclusions. The new findings have not been submitted to a journal for publication, an author said. The independent experts who reviewed the study said the findings were unlikely to be published in their present form.

Perhaps because Heritage used a much less rigorous standard for their data? Well, they just want to "let the readers decide" about their misleading report.

Also the Heritage foundation, unlike the earlier study that it struggles to rebut, relies on self-reporting for its analysis. Oh, if I was a teenager, I would absolutely report that I had contracted chlamydia, if I was even aware of that fact.

Then, "In an unusual feature of a scientific report, the Heritage team said that Dr. Bearman's team "deliberately misled the press and the public" about some of its findings." Unusual feature of a scientific report? Isn't this the Heritage Foundation, making this, you know, a political report?

Pass the gas-mask

2005-06-15T10:36:00.000-05:00

A college-acquaintance came down to DC to become yet another warm body among the hordes of interns. Monday was his orientation at a large, non-Defense or Homeland Security, government department included the handing out of gas-masks to every new employee. Are we really that afraid of terror attacks that the government is handing out masks to its employees? Then why didn't I get one? Yes, some departments have more money than sense, but come on now. They weren't even personally fitted for their masks, meaning that the likelihood of their actually protecting the wearer is close to nil. Good job.

gettin' copied faster than xerox

2005-06-15T08:09:00.000-05:00

I stole that photo first DCist! Give it back! Ah the wonders of Flickr.

Going for a walk, taking a piss.

2005-06-14T08:55:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago, the gf and I were out for a stroll in Mt. P, and I found myself really needing to take a piss. We stopped by a friend's house, but no one was home. What do you do now? I mean easy answer right? Step into a dark alley and try not to hit anything that you wouldn't want to have pissed on.

Clearly, this could not just go smoothly. As I'm mid-stream, two dog walkers pass behind me in the alley. Who walks their dogs through an alley at 10pm? By the time I zip up and walk out of the alley, I figure that they should be far enough on their merry way that we can all pretend that an awkward situation of walking passed a stranger pissing in public never happened. Wrong.

There they are kind of hovering around. You can just sense that they want to say something. Chastise me for picking their alley to piss in. Not going to happen. I cross over the street while the gf takes a phone call. The dog walkers take a right. We give them a second and then take a left. Conflict averted.

Ten minutes later we cross paths with the dog-walkers. Evil glares are received. So here is my apology. Sorry for pissing in an alley. Next time that I need to piss, I will make like your dogs and piss on a fire hydrant. Social mores my ass.

Rainbow

2005-06-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

Rainbow
Originally uploaded by Olivia Leigh.

Who says that there isn't beauty in the city? This evening's storm brought with it a rainbow and some fabulous light. The orange glow made even the shabbiest houses look golden. Sigh.

A weekend concerto in three parts: Sunday

2005-06-13T21:40:00.000-05:00

Evan, Croquet Novice
Originally uploaded by Fletch DC.

And on the third day, the lord brought food upon which we gorged ourselves. Lauren and I were celebrated at our going away BBQ by our friends, family, and misc. hangers-on. There was food, there was drink, there was croquet. Pictures will be available later. For those who have an in with the family, there is lots of food left over, so you may be receiving another BBQ invite sometime this week.

The, sadly, my final act of the weekend was to turn down a ticket to see the Pixies/Bloc Party concert tonight. Sad but true. When you only have 13 days left in your hometown, there are a lot of loose ends that need tying up. (Dealing with a situation like this also entered the picture) For now, I will just pretend that the Pixies are as they were when I first listened to Doolittle in 8th grade, broken up.

A weekend concerto in three parts: Saturday

2005-06-13T11:26:00.000-05:00

Surprisingly enough, when you are quitting your job, leaving town for a six week road-trip, and starting grad school in another state, there is a ton of shit that you have to do before you go. Some of it was done from the pleasant enjoyment of bed on Saturday afternoon. God bless central AC and wireless internet.

Old 97s show. Awesome. The only band in recent memory that has actually given not one, but two encores at the 9:30 Club. Both well deserved. Other points of note.

1. Rhett Miller's voice was shit. It sounded like he'd been touring for a bit too long and the raspy strains couldn't hit the high notes. It did improve as the evening progressed and he fed off of the crowd's enthusiasm.

2. I have not felt young at a concert in many years. The late-30-something crowd was old but energetic. The people sitting on the upstairs risers somehow believed that they could take up both the space on the risers and the railing. Maybe that's because they haven't been to a standing-room only concert in a while, but here's a hint: a sold-out show means that the 9:30 club sold all of their space. It means that you have to stand where you want to watch the show from, whether the band is on stage or not.

3. The one young person I noticed was really rocking out. Like she was at a Poison concert, circa 1989. Maybe it was her version of two-steppin' it, who knows. Not to mislead you, my readers, she only flashed her bangs around when she was singing along. Apparently she had only ever heard Satellite Rides, but man did she have those lyrics down.

Again, additional blubbering about how the show was amazing probably won't help, but tough shit. Go and listen to some clips and buy an album. I'd tell you to buy Fight Songs, but there are some people out there with less musical taste than I.

A weekend concerto in three parts: Friday

2005-06-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

I started to write about the massive shopping expedition to Costco, but then I realized how fucking inane that would be. Sometimes I need an editor to smack me upside my head to make me remember that I am trying to add to the "dialogue" of the internet, not to crap out mental diarrhea. Let it be noted that I have never seen as much food purchased at one time as I witnessed on Friday. Thank you moms and pops, your contributions to the food orgy that occurred on Sunday have been taken into consideration for retirement home placement.

Really though, let's talk about what a small town DC is. I'm sure that everyone, except for the flood of wide-eyed interns who bum-rushed my metro this morning, has experienced the random encounter with an unexpected acquaintance in this city. You're walking down the street and you see someone who looks familiar, then they turn around, shout your name, and you hold an impromptu exchange of varying awkwardness. I went to a small liberal arts school, and I think that I randomly run into more people here than I did strolling across campus. Chalk it up to the fact that everyone who counts either works or lives in the small corridor stretching from Dupont-Columbia Heights/Cleveland Park. Except for you Wyatt, except for you.

Having lived here all my life, many of my encounters occur with a stunning amount of discomfort since there is always the question of "what's the reason why we see each other anymore" floating above our conversations. Friday night was a prime example of this (and of yet another reason that I fastidiously strive to avoid Adams Morgan).

1. Walking into the Reef, I hand the bouncer my ID. Bouncer looks up, "I know you." I look at the bouncer. I look at him closely. I have no fucking clue. He says "You went to Hardy [Middle School], right?" (for those who care, I'm talking old school Hardy up on Foxhall, not this new place in Glover Park) I look again as my mind races through all of the names that I can recall, desperately trying to find a name and a face that matches. Blank. "Um, yeah," sheepishly "and you are...?" Yup, I definitely went to middle school with him.

2. Sitting in Bedrock Billiards with friends, I notice a guy playing pool across the room. We were in Scouts together (yes, Boy Scouts.), we would smoke in the woods on weekends. What do you do here? a. Pretend you don't see him, b. Go right up, say hi, and try to catch up on the last six years of each others lives, or c. Socialize your way closer and then talk if their is mutual recognition. I went with "c", made easier by the fact that the other half of our party was sitting right next to his table. That also gave me an easy exit when the conversation started to get stilted. He makes robots that detect land mines. I never would have guessed.

3. Walking down Columbia Rd. to get home, I see a former college roommate. Whom I don't know is in DC. You see, he stopped talking to me when I hooked up with a girl that he had a crush on. Actually, he stopped talking to me the night after she talked her way into sleeping in my bed with me, even though I refused to hook up with her because I knew that he would get pissed. In the morning, he threw our trash can across our living room, stopped talking to me, and I started hooking up with the girl. What do you do?

Clearly, there was no choice but to stop and talk, we have too many friends in common still to do otherwise. We made enough pleasant conversation that a total stranger might not realize that we didn't like each other, and then went our separate ways.

What's your strangest DC encounter?

Like Hotornot.com, only creepier

2005-06-09T15:35:00.000-05:00

"BeautifulPeople.net is an online community whose purpose is to create relationships, both private and professional, between people who because of their attractive appearance and personal qualities stand out from the majority." Is this another avenue of eugenics? Breed the most attractive specimens and crush the egos of the ugly. Brutal.

Members vote publicly on new applicants. Apparently only about 1 in 15 make the cut. You would think that it might be a little bit more self-selecting. Maybe I'll sign up and see how I do. Not to toot my own horn (can I get a beep-beep), but if I pick a photo that doesn't show my emerging gut, I think I match up pretty favorably with some of those dudes. Then I can get invited to all of the beautiful people parties. In Britain. I wonder if there is grant money to cover the travel expenses?

BBC has a nice write-up about the ups and downs of the application process.

I couldn't have said it better

2005-06-09T13:19:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Webster's, you know that book thingy with lots of words in it.

Whoopee interj. Slang. -Used to express jubilence. -make whoopee. To celebrate noisily ex.: made whoopee after prom

On a related note, I am clearly out of touch with contemporary English. I thought that I have been whoremongering all these years, but these days the kids are calling it whoremastering. I am so embarrassed right now.

Oh, those wacky and crazy Harvard kids!

2005-06-09T10:52:00.000-05:00

When will the hilarity end? Those future-farmers of America tucked away in their cocoon of liberalism and privilege had a ball yesterday playing "bingo" with Tim Russert's recycled commencement speech. What will they think of next? (Maybe how to best spend Mommy and Daddy's money on their tour of Europe?)

"Who's the lowest rated network in DC now?"-edition

2005-06-09T08:10:00.000-05:00

Apparently WaPo's mediocre iPod story yesterday left some of the other regional media sources playing catch-up. For everyone who decided to skip out on last night's iPod DJ night at Saint-Ex., you may have just missed your 15 minutes of fame.

I know many of you out there probably caught this last night, since everyone who reads blogs clearly gets most of their news from the local television affiliates, but in case you missed it, here is their piece on iPod DJing. You may notice the sleek new 30GB iPod Photo with protective silicone iSkin that ol' Nancy is holding up. Yup, its mine. And those hands in the photo on the webpage? Mine also. Check out the video and you may notice the footage of a young man clearly struggling (perhaps even agonizing, we might say?) over what he's going to put on his playlist. Me too! I am so famous right now. I think that I'll just start demanding things from people and when they don't comply, start screaming "Don't you know who I am!!!!" Life is going to be good. Maybe I can get on MTV Cribs.

For my inaugural set, I chose something a little mellower. Started off with "Fuck and Run" Liz Phair off Exile in Guyville. Moved to "Perfect World" by the Pietasters from Piestomp (you can listen here). And then closed out with Soltero's "Communist Love Song." Not that anyone noticed since the basement was empty by the time my set came around at 12:15. Although I was surprised by the reaction that the Pietaster's song got, clearly Saint-Ex. has not been completed subsumed by the suburban masses.

Also, to Jake, thanks for getting me to switch over to Jameson from the light beer. My current state of utter agony lies heavily on your shoulders. And to the guy who practically begged us to stay for his set: I am really sorry that we bolted for the stairs when you turned your back. Its not that we thought you were creepy, it is really just that it was 1am and you seemed like too nice a guy to just abandon you to your face.

And now DCist has picked it up.

One more reason why this administration is an embarrassment to representative governments everywhere

2005-06-08T08:05:00.000-05:00

Without the slightest hint of explanation, the Justice Department just lowered the penalty on tobacco companies from $130 Billion to $10 Billion. Yeah, you guys are really looking out for the voters on that one. Who knows, maybe smokers are the new NASCAR Dads.

Gentrifying 14th st., or trading hookers and crack for hookers and blow

2005-06-07T12:19:00.000-05:00

Not wanting to get caught up in the pissing match that went on in the comments section of the DCist post on the new development at 14th and V St., I'll use my forty acres here to say my piece.

1. The stretch of 14th st. between U st. all the way up to Park st. is almost without question one of the shabbiest stretches of Northwest. Its little more than empty lots and bland facades looking upon concrete. Down right ugly. Anyone who objects to new construction projects in this stretch needs to stop being a fucking mouth piece for their "radical" agenda and open their eyes. Sure, some people may think that "Union Row" may not have the aesthetic appeal of the surrounding rowhouses, or the art deco buildings that can be found scattered through Dupont, but no one in their right mind is going to object to development because they think that a rubble strewn lot is more attractive than a cheesy steel and glass structure.

2. Affordable housing is the key issue here, and it is an issue that the pro-development folks like to shunt off to the side because in this town class=race and no developer wants to be labeled as a racist. New developments are bringing in ass-loads of expensive units. Older buildings are being renovated or gutted to create new luxury condo units. The pressures of rising property values mean that long time residents are forced to leave because they can't afford their new rent or their property taxes are higher than their income. The question of affordable housing is then where do these people go? In this city there isn't anywhere. Hell, I have a half-decent job and there's no way in hell that I could afford to buy in this city without taking on more debt than I am willing/the banks will give me. Now before you get all pissy on me, I was born in this city, and I've lived here for 24 years. If I want to keep living here, it should be my choice. Its nice that the city has brought in retailers and developers, but it has an obligation to its current residents.

3. The new residents conflict with the existing community. How do you think the owners of the new luxury condos are going to feel when they realize that they are across the street from Martha's Table? Or that Lazarus House is just up the block? What about that big satellite dish on the other corner of 14th and V.? It didn't take the new Georgetown residents too long before they started making unforeseen demands in the name of their property values. It is one thing to try to better your community, its another to destroy your community in the name of your investment.

There is certainly a lot more to be said on this issue, but I'll leave it be for now since I have to go to a very important meeting on shelves. Go and gentrify safely. And if you know the guy who spray paints anti-gentrification tags in C-Heights, punch him in the fucking head for being such a douche bag.

Catching up.

2005-06-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know if anyone actually read the NY Times series Class in America, but Joel Achenbach hit it on the head when he said that "it seems to be one of those endeavors that Dave Barry said should carry a warning: "Journalism Prize Entry -- Do Not Read."

Part of that reason is because it was such a drawn out piece that was clearly meant to "have an impact." But there was more to it than that. Chris Lehmann explores the amusingly real problem with the New York Times writing an exploitation piece about class issues in America.

AT FIRST GLANCE, "Class Matters" — the New York Times’ epic inquiry into the widening economic divisions of the new millennium — appears to be what its editors solemnly claim: a well-intentioned effort to reckon with a serious social condition, one that notoriously eludes clear understanding in America, so long hymned as the planet’s pre-eminent land of opportunity. Alas, however, the New York Times is in no position to deliver. In contrast to, say, the paper’s conscientious reporting on the ’60s-era civil-rights movement in the South, its foray into class consciousness suffers from a fatal flaw. Social class is at the core of the Times’ institutional identity, which prevents the paper from offering the sort of dispassionate, critically searching discussion the subject demands.

Even as the paper takes hits for its alleged liberal bias, it retains a supremely undeviating affinity for the cultural habits of the rich and celebrated — most obviously in its Sunday Vows section, which features short celebratory biographies of newly consummated mateships from the overclass. The Sunday Styles section — along with the Home and Dining sections, the T: Style magazine, and the recently added Thursday Styles — delivers breathless dispatches on the mores, tastes, status worries, and modes of pecuniary display favored by the coming generation of anxious downtown arrivistes.

and

Instead Scott and Leonhardt marshal their readers through a leisurely tour of hoary American social mythology. America, they purr, "has gone a long way toward the appearance of classlessness" — meaning, one supposes, that the downwardly mobile middle classes are actually thriving on the appearance of being in possession of wealth and disposable income, as though, by analogy, it would have been perfectly acceptable to report design upgrades in segregated Southern drinking fountains as a meaningful advance for black civil rights. "Social diversity," they explain, "has erased many of the markers" separating the country’s haves from the have-nots. Yet they fail to recognize that a more socially diverse ruling class remains a ruling class, after all — an uncomfortable truth easily overlooked when one is writing for an influential organ of said ruling class.

Ouch. Boston Phoenix 1, NY Times 0.

A shot, shave, and a shower

2005-06-06T15:31:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure which makes me more nervous, sitting in the doctor's chair or the barber's. Do you think that it is harder to tell someone that they have some sort of disease or a bad haircut?

1. Even at 24 tetanus shots make your arm go dead. I also have officially broken the 160 lb. plateau into massive hipster obesity. But on the plus side, I am now fully trained to give myself a monthly testicular exam.

2. After my haircut, I may no longer weigh over 160 lbs. The jury is still out on the hair. $16 at the Hair Cuttery is about the minimum to guarantee that you do not get butchered. It does not guarantee a good haircut.

3. It is 96 degrees outside. Walking back to the Heights from the West End left me sweaty as a pig. A shower and central-AC have left me much happier. Maybe a nap is in order.

Pettiness is the refuge of small minds.

2005-06-06T11:09:00.000-05:00

The wonderful weekend was marred only by a single incident at the un-Safeway on Columbia Rd. Well, it would have been marred if I were the type of person who doesn't like to berate patently stupid people in a public setting.

Sunday at the grocery store. Everything is on sale. Nothing is on the shelves. The lines for the registers go halfway down the aisles. You know it. You love it.

So I'm waiting in the 15 item or less line with my little basket of food. After the ball game the gf, Jake and I had gotten some margaritas and Mexican at Alero's, the buzz was wearing off and I was getting antsy. Some people got in line behind me, and then the fun started.

Whiny bitch: It is sooooooooo hot in here. I think that its hotter in here than it is outside. (Patently wrong. It is at least ten degrees cooler in the store. But who am I to correct a stranger.) Doesn't it look like that woman ahead of us has more than 15 items in her basket? It totally does. I hate it when people do get in the express line with more than their limit. Its, like, the worst thing ever. I'm going to go count her items.

Excuse me? No one really cares about that shit that much, so they? She then goes and stands next to this woman for five minutes trying to count how many items are in her hand-basket. Frustrated by her inability to count to fifteen without using her toes, she comes back to line.

When my gf joins me in line, I'm sure that this woman is going to make some snide remark about cutting in line or something equally petty. But no, she saves her comments for when we have placed our items on the conveyor belt. Standing behind us, she turns to her partner in douche-bagger and comments on my gfs items in a loud-enough-so-that-everyone-around-can-hear-what-mind-blowing-information-I-have-to-convey voice: "That is sooo many more than 15 items. Why isn't she in another line. She should get out of the way and let us go. I hate it when people do shit like that." She rambles on a we stare at each other for a moment in disbelief before I tear into this useless sack of crap masquerading as a sentient being. Standing in line, with everyone looking, I let it go. "Are you fucking kidding me? That is the pettiest shit I've ever heard. Follow me on this one: one, two, three...(getting up there)..twelve...(shit miscalculated)...fourteen. (whew) I guess math wasn't your fucking strong suit honey. Maybe next time you should try not being wrong."

WB: But she has three bags of lettuce....
"Oh yeah, and there are four pears in that bag. Do you count them all too?" Pause. Breathe. "Maybe you should shut the fuck up."

Then because pettiness deserves pettiness in return, when I'm paying for my groceries I turn back to the poor, stupid woman and ask "Is it ok if I use my credit card in this line, or do I need to go somewhere else?" To which she replied with a quickly dimming spark of attitude "It doesn't say anything on the sign." "Yeah, I thought so. Important lesson of the day, a basket of groceries is 15 items."

In my mind, the entire grocery store would've burst into applause. I hate petty fucking people.

Weekend Wonders

2005-06-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

RFK Stadium, Nationals vs. Marlins
Originally uploaded by Fletch.

Friday. Yes, Friday will now be fully part of my weekend until I leave DC.

1) Had blood drawn. God I hate needles. At least I'll never be a smack-fiend.
2) Revenge of the Sith. Don't believe the dorks, it really isn't that good. Instead of making something interesting, George Lucas decided answer all the questions that you might have about the original Star Wars Trilogy. In some ways this may be a die-hard fan's wet-dream, but it makes for an achingly mediocre movie. Not that you shouldn't go see it. Just have low expectations.
3) Washington Social Club. Still the best band to come out of DC recently. Like since Fugazi. Their energy on stage rivaled that of Q and Not U. Sure the sound was kind of muddled, but it was the Black Cat, bad sound comes standard.

Saturday. Aka, moving sucks day.
1) We don't live here any more. I am no longer on the lease at the Harvard Quaker Commune. I am sad to be gone. I will be happy when the last of the cat hair is washed from every possession that I own.
2)Drinks with friends. Drinks at the Toledo Lounge. Passing out happily well before the bars close.

Sunday.
1) Mount Pleasant Day. Not a lot of advertising for this one, which is probably a good thing considering that it was packed with people anyways. Ran into some book friends who I hope ran into some good sales in the afternoon.
2) Nats game. Beautiful. First place in the NL East. Word.

Thursday is the new Friday.

2005-06-03T10:39:00.000-05:00

And Friday is the new Saturday, when you've got doctor's appointments and use or lose hours to burn. Star Wars here I come.

Prescient Pondering: Fatty Transport

2005-06-02T17:05:00.000-05:00

When I am sitting in the disabled/seniors bench on the Metro, how fat does a person have to be for me to give up my seat?

If there are two of us on the bench, and it is clear that one seat will not be enough to fit your ponderous corpulence, do we both have to get up?

I hope that all stupid and patriotic Americans get whatever virus was attached to this email.

2005-06-02T14:52:00.000-05:00

God Bless America!

Turn on your TV. Osama Bin Laden has been captured. While CNN has no pictures at this point of time, the military channel (PPV) released some pictures. I managed to capture a couple of these pictures off my TV. Ive attached a slideshow containing all the pictures I managed to capture. I apologize for the low quality, its the best I could do at this point of time. Hopefully CNN will have pictures and a video soon. God bless the USA!

Lard-ass alert! Free Krispy Kremes.

2005-06-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

For all of you Dupont Circle wage-slaves who aren't on a diet to spare my eyes at the beach this summer, tomorrow is your lucky day. Krispy Kreme has declared Friday, June 3rd "Doughnut Day." They will be giving away doughnuts at all of their locations so that you can add pounds to your ass and thighs while becoming addicted to their warm sugary love cakes.

Be warned though, that the Dupont location plays a cheap hoax on you by importing pre-fried doughnuts that are only given a lukewarm coating of glaze. Head to a full service store, like the one in Alexandria, to experience a truly fresh doughnut. Remember, one free doughnut per customer, but chances are that by the time you wait in line, there will be a different server to give you another free doughnut. Bring your desk chair so as not to waste precious calories standing!

Bush, Deep Throatin'

2005-06-02T13:01:00.000-05:00

"He was -- it's hard for me to judge because I was so coked up in 1974. I'm learning more about the situation by watching the movies. All I can tell you is, is that it's -- it was a revelation that caught me by surprise you know, Tricky Dick resigning because he had been abusing his power and lying to the American people, and I thought it very interesting that no one crucified this anonymous source. I'm looking forward to reading about it, reading about his relationship with the news media after I dismantle the Fourth Estate. It's a brand-new story for a lot of us who have been living under a fucking rock for the past thirty years."

Morning thoughts

2005-06-02T08:08:00.000-05:00

For some reason Field of Dreams popped into my head this morning. Yeah, rough morning. More importantly though, how fucked up would you have to be to hear voices ("If you build it, they will come"), and then do what those voices tell you?

Shit-balls wasted.

Who knows, maybe the movie is all about the impact of an outbreak of ergot poisoning.

Dominion of Fun

2005-06-01T12:10:00.000-05:00

When's the last time you went to an amusement park? Seriously. I just heard two people talking over lunch (interns perhaps?) about Kings Dominion and it just got me thinking. I used to love Kings Dominion when I was a kid/teenager. We would go once a summer, ride all of the roller-coasters and the water-slides, and just have a great time. But I can't for the life of me remember the last time that I went. I know that we drove with some friends in high school, so I must have been 16 or 17, but 8 years ago?

Do you outgrow amusement parks? I was never into the movie characters that wander around theme parks (to be fair, I my parents tell me that I "visited" Disney World when I was six months old, and I was visiting KD in the days before Paramount slapped their name on it for corporate branding). And now that I am older and wiser, the image of getting boozy and going on rides doesn't have quite the same appeal (although it is actually just the being boozy, tired, and waiting in line that doesn't appeal to me). Could I have fun the old fashioned way at an amusement park, just wandering around in the sun and going on rides? Want to find out?

But I have to work on Thursday

2005-06-01T11:17:00.000-05:00

Its that time of year, when the little kids get up on stage under the bright lights of ESPN, and start spelling words incorrectly. Yep, the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Unfortunately, I will have to stream the competition from work, but maybe they'll replay the finals this weekend when I could sit down with some beers, some friends, and just laugh at the little kids when tears well up in their eyes.

Deep Throat

2005-06-01T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I loved Linda Lovelace too. As for this whole Mark Felt thing, I have to agree with Hank Stuever that the knowledge takes away much of the thrill of the anonymous source. Now Deep Throat is just another tired old man. But maybe that's just me and Stuever. There were certainly enough previous attempts to discover Deep Throat's identity, that maybe knowledge doesn't take any of the sheen off. Maybe future University of Illinois students will stick to cheering for their basketball team, rather than embarrass themselves on the internet with their poor investigative skills.

In some ways the most intriguing part of this revelation is how it actually went down. Why would Felt, after having Woodward and Bernstein keep his identity secret for 30 years, not let them reveal his identity to the public? Farhi touches on this in his essay in the WaPo:

Vanity Fair's story hinted at but did not answer a key journalistic question: Was Felt, who is 91 and in ill health from a stroke, of sound enough mind to have confirmed his identity to O'Connor[the Felt family's lawyer and driving force behind the Vanity Fair article], or to have told Woodward that their agreement had ended?

The Vanity Fair story muddies the issue somewhat. O'Connor notes in the story that Felt told him, "I'm the guy they called Deep Throat," but the context is lacking. For one thing, O'Connor played a dual role: He was providing the Felt family with legal advice while also writing a magazine story, which meant that Felt's revelation may have been information provided under attorney-client privilege and therefore not subject to unilateral disclosure.

What's more, as O'Connor makes clear in his story, the Felt family was seeking to profit from Felt's secret identity and therefore had an incentive to pressure a clearly conflicted Felt into going public.

Seems kind of questionable to me, but who am I? Just some internet commentator. Perhaps I need a sleazy family lawyer and greedy children to make all of my decisions for me.

Long weekend in "the city"

2005-05-31T14:51:00.000-05:00

The Bithday Girl!

1. You don't need to hit holiday traffic over the long weekend. You just need to drive late at night when all the families have collapsed in bed.

2. No one from the city of New York should be allowed to drive. Ever. On the BQE, I witnessed some come in on the on-ramp and proceed to take a left across four lanes of trafic. Perpendicular. Yeah, now I can die fulfilled.

3. If someone put a gun to my head and forced me to live in NYC, I would live in Brooklyn. Hands down. Nice houses, all the conveinences, no tourists, no concrete canyons.

4. Moving out sucks.

Richard Dawkins, arrogant prick and very smart evolutionary scientist

2005-05-26T15:58:00.000-05:00

More than a little touched with hubris, Richard Dawkins strayed too far with his idea of The Selfish Gene, encouraging even historians to impregnate their studies with his unhelpful concept of historical evolution. But when he stays focused on science, he can be devastating. Creationism: God's gift to the ignorant is an example of this man's abilities. Christians in Kansas beware, daring-do Dawkins is on the case.

Greasing the nuts

2005-05-26T14:31:00.000-05:00

Hopefully, Hatchetman Tom will still be around violating Texas ethics laws when I get down to Austin. Who knows, perhaps someone down there can teach me the all the tricks to convince corporations to illegally funnel money into my evil schemes of world domination. Or perhaps everyone that Tom Delay knows will eventually be sent to jail, and then I'll be able to find a cheap, convenient place to live in Texas.

Hook 'em Horns

2005-05-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

It finally hit me as to why people have been googling my name. No, I don't think that my mother finally learned how to harness the powers of the internet for evil. I think that Marlan and some Texas-Exes are to blame. So welcome. I am now shamed. I completely blame Wyatt for this.

Since telling you to stop here, return to your google search page, and look at all of the other wonderful hits that I have probably won't work, let me at least let you cut through all of the blah entries about food and socializing. Here's the cheat sheet of what's interesting:

Columbia Heights, Making Waves
The Gates. Blah.
Metro Follies!
I am reading trash. Part I and Part II

Really though, if I get judged on this spew, I am going to be mighty mad. Of course, I have no one but a boy from South Dakota to blame.

Wednesday Wings, or why I learned to stop worrying and eat the grease

2005-05-26T09:53:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night wings at Hard Times Cafe. I knew that they had chili, but 35-cent (its the new 25-cent) wing night? And $1.50 High-Lifes? I dropped $10 on wings, beer, and sweet tea, and my stomach is still full.

Shit. Wyatt and Don, I blame you for not inviting me before. Or alternately, not being there the one time I did decide to show.

Busy Day Post

2005-05-25T12:48:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Bluestate for some wonderful tunes last night. If you missed it, well, you missed it. We even found some time to debate the merits of AP style vs. NY Times style re: usage of the ubiquitous apostrophe to form the plural of acronyms. Real gripping stuff.

And more Saint-Ex. food reviewing, after last night, I can say with authority that the $9 burger is well worth it. Tender and juicy, with a heaping side of battered fries. Mmmmmmmmmmmm...

Music seen

2005-05-24T13:54:00.000-05:00

1. Soltero is coming to DC on Thursday! Well College Park actually, but close enough. Who is Soltero, you ask? Tim Howard. That's who. He's a singer/song-writer and you should check out his tunes, here. Check out "Communist Love Song" and "Poughkeepsie's Always Proud" off of Science Will Figure You Out. Then come to the show on Thursday.

2. Bluestate's tonight. I'll be rockin' out and eating a late dinner, so drop and say hi. I'll be in a green tee. Not dancing. Word.

...And someone just got here by Googling my name

2005-05-24T12:01:00.000-05:00

Speak up, before I get scared. I don't know how that happened, but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Nuts in a silver bowl

2005-05-24T09:46:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had the opportunity to dine at the Cosmos Club with a good family friend. No, I am not yet one of Washington's intellectual elite (wait, you mean blogs don't count?), but after last night, I hope that I can hurry along my resume-building so that I can be nominated before I'm too stodgy to get a kick out of it.

The magnificent Beaux-Arts mansion at the corner of Massachusetts and Florida seems to be the perfect setting for this club. The interior is filled with lots of wood paneling and marble columns, just as any elite club should. Its funny, for a club that is so elite, it really doesn't have a snooty atmosphere. The staff were all very nice, and most of them knew my hostess well. When we sat in the barroom, they brought out bowl of nuts (Fancy ones, like macadamia and pecans. No simple peanuts here!) and some odd cheese dip. Dinner in the main dining room was excellent, as always. The menu was what you would expect from an old club, steak, lamb, salmon, crab cakes..., but there were a few modern touches: a Thai peanut sauce with the trout, a selection of "heart healthy" dishes, and a number of entree salads.

The whole time we were eating, I half expected Kelly Ann Collins to stroll in wearing a little black number, but then I remembered its only the intellectual elite. Of course, gentleman, if you are ever invited to the Cosmos Club, remember, jacket and tie are required.

Weekend Edition: Fingered and Blue Ridge

2005-05-22T22:07:00.000-05:00

1. It finally happened. I was at a BBQ on Sunday evening and one of the housemates that I don't really know came up to me and told me that she had started reading my blog. Weird. It was nice to hear that other people beyond the small ring of my friends find my ramblings interesting. But it was also just weird in a way that I'm sure many bloggers understand. So Liz, if you found your way on the internet today, I tip my hat to you. You had me laughing all the way through our chat. And I'll see if I can find you a new job. But what do you do?

2. After Noah's flood on Friday, the GF and I hopped out of town to hike Old Rag Mountain. If you've been there, you know how beautiful it can be on a nice day. If you haven't had the chance yet, find a car and drive out there. The rock scramble can't be beat and neither can the views of the Shenandoah and the horse country. Word of advice is to get there early, the parking lot fills up and the trail gets busy with families and youth groups looking for a thrill.

3. Finally made it to Saint-Ex. for dinner. Food was great, fancier than I expected. Although, I guess after two years, I probably should have checked out the menu at some point. I had the swordfish, and the GF had the salmon, as we tried to figure out who the clientele were, because really, who's going to travel to 14th st. for a pricey dinner? The consensus was the Logan Circle/U St. yuppie crowd. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I hope to join them one day, but until then...

4. Shopping at H&M. Why don't I buy cheap European styles more frequently? Oh, that's right, because I don't have a budget for clothes. That and their sizing makes me feel like a fat ass. All my life, I've been a 32 regular. Went in to try on some pants and I can't even button the damn things. 34 regular it is. They still make me look good though. Damn good. I almost felt like hitting on the G-town girls, but then I overheard them, like, talking to each other about their new highlights, and I remembered why I hate the GT.

Unstoppable boredom

2005-05-20T13:33:00.000-05:00

Just put up some more reading material on the right. I put up the first four, and then wondered why the blogs that I've recently started reading have all been authored by women. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I added Yglesias just to make myself feel more comfortable.

Pushing the Man

2005-05-20T12:35:00.000-05:00

I hate to send folks over to the evil corporation of Nike, but Information Leafblower got a design into the blogger-sneaker competition they hvae going on. After you vote for his design, you can try your hand at making your own sneakers.* Go on now, you can vote for him once a day for the next couple of week.

*Jake did up his feet online a month ago. So far he hasn't complained about his shoes, and they look pretty good for something designed by a paralegal. Of course you might have to know Jake's tastes a little better to judge.

Ga-ga for Google

2005-05-20T09:14:00.000-05:00

I don't really do technology like some people do technology. For my place in life as a young, educated, urban professional, I'm pretty slow to jump on the newest bandwagon. Cell phones? Didn't get one until I graduated college. IPods? Just got mine. After a million other Americans. Blogs? Well, this one has been going for close to six months now.

When it comes to the internet though, Google is my brand of choice, hands down. I couldn't even tell you the last time that I used another search engine. In the battle for this little man's mind, Yahoo and MSN are nothing but second-tier losers.

That's why Google's new foray into web portals is enticing. I just got a new computer, and I'll be damned if I don't need a new homepage. Apple.com, I'm sorry but you're just not cutting it for me. Now all I have to do is wait for the Beta version to be released publicly.

If you've got a little time and you get a kick out of seeing what else the great googs is up to, check out Google Labs where they let you test out their new ideas. Like Ridefinder to help you locate a taxi or supershuttle in real time. Or Google Local, which lets you search by geographic location. Ah fun with internet dorks.

End of a season, end of a career

2005-05-19T22:12:00.000-05:00

OC ohmygod! The show finally returned to its roots of cramming an entire season's worth of drama into one hour. Old faces returning; rehab for Kiki; drug deals and gunplay; Ryan facing the demons of his past before Marissa shoots Tre! Are you kidding? Yeah, I feel ridiculous, but who cares, its not like I have the energy for anything else on Thursday night.

And Reggie Miller. I'd say that I was sorry to see you lose your last game, but then I would be lying. You were one of the best foils in the NBA. So easy to hate, and yet could never carry your team to victory. I'm sure some paid sports writers will have more elegant eulogies in the morning, and I will post some links when I find them.

Metro Moron

2005-05-19T17:14:00.000-05:00

How dumb do you have to be to stick your head between closing Metro doors? Not your arm or your leg. And certainly not the rest of your body. Just your head. And your neck. Then you get all pissy when the door shuts with your head inside the train and your body and bag, not. Really, how stupid are you?

Personally, I wanted the train to pull out of the station and drag this fucking moron along to the next station. Luckily for her (yeah, I bet you thought that it was a guy), the conductor was more merciful. Sometimes an example has to be made, for the betterment of humanity.

Keep telling yourself "Increase and diffusion. Increase and diffusion"

2005-05-19T13:13:00.000-05:00

Mark this one down under "we have a lot of things here that your office doesn't."

While walking down the hall in a storage area, the guy ahead of me says "And here are all the human remains."

This hall stretches on for an uncomfortably long distance. On the right is an office with a complete skelton laid out on a table. Above the drawers of bones are many, many busts. Today was a day of being creeped out.

2005-05-19T10:23:00.000-05:00

I hope that whoever checked out this blog after searching for "bird genitals" got what they were looking for. I don't know how I am the #2 ranked site for the aforementioned "bird genitals," but I really wonder what Sean Hannity did to get the #1 spot.

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=bird%20genitals&btnG=Search&meta

Debating the Details, Missing the Big Picture

2005-05-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was talking with a co-worker about a recent New Yorker article about the confluence of crystal meth and HIV in gay men. (I really suggest that you make the time and read the article. Just be forewarned that reading about how crystal meth fuels the spread of HIV might just ruin your day.) Maybe a little heavy for casual office chatter, but it was hump day, all bets are off. The article pieces together a whole string of anecdotes and facts, but the most interesting observation came near the end, when a researcher started talking about how wide-spread depression among gay-men feeds into the destructive meth-sex cycle:

"This suggests that substance abuse is a thread in a larger tapestry," Stall told me. "And one shouldn't forget that crystal methamphetamine also acts"at first"as an antidepressant. People talk about 'Will and Grace' and how accepting America is now of homosexuality. That is simply not true. America has come a country mile, I agree. Still, in the state I just left, Georgia, where the C.D.C. has its headquarters, almost four out of every five adults recently voted to deny gay men and lesbians the right to even have a civil marriage. We have an awful lot more work to do."

In some ways, its a no brainer: feeling depressed about life, take a drug that wipes away any sort of bad feelings or inhibitions, have a weekend of casual sex, wake up feeling even more depressed on Monday morning. Maybe with a new STD. But really, how often do we as a society get caught up in the little things, and miss the big picture rolling by?

Look at today's headlines. We're talking about filibusters, sex-ed, and Star Wars. Do any of these things really impact society as a whole? I mean, do filibusters solve the government's coming fiscal crisis? or feed the starving? Does having sex-ed banished from class rooms really matter when many American kids barely have the basic skills needed to function in modern society? And Star Wars? WTF guys, people around the world hate America because they see us as morally and culturally corrupt, and this is the best that we can come up with?

After the November elections, I was too depressed to read the papers. I figured that if I didn't know about all the crappy things that were happening, I would be better off. Quite frankly, I didn't miss much that affected my daily life. Maybe I should go back to ignoring the press. Most of the rest of America does. I can always get the things that matter from the blogosphere.

Battle to the Death: da White House Press Hard-Correspondents vs. Scott "Fascist Mouthpiece" McClellan

2005-05-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

Ooooh, shits gettin' snappy in that cozy briefing room. If you enjoy witty repartee (read: hypercritical commentary with stunningly vapid responses), yesterday's White House Press "Beefing" is a must.

Highlights include:
Q Scott, you said that the retraction by Newsweek magazine of its story is a good first step. What else does the President want this American magazine to do?
MR. McCLELLAN: Blah, blah, blah, blah...we would encourage Newsweek to do all that they can to help repair the damage that has been done, particularly in the region. And I think Newsweek can do that by talking about the way they got this wrong, and pointing out what the policies and practices of the United States military are when it comes to the handling of the Holy Koran. The military put in place policies and procedures to make sure that the Koran was handled -- or is handled with the utmost care and respect. And I think it would help to point that out, because some have taken this report -- those that are opposed to the United States -- some have taken this report and exploited it and used it to incite violence.
Q With respect, who made you the editor of Newsweek? Do you think it's appropriate for you, at that podium, speaking with the authority of the President of the United States, to tell an American magazine what they should print? (Hold on, Bush isn't in charge of Newsweek?)
MR. McCLELLAN: I'm not telling them. I'm saying that we would encourage them to help -- (Abort, abort!)
Q You're pressuring them. (smelling blood)

Q Let me follow up on that. What -- you said that -- what specifically are you asking Newsweek to do? I mean, to follow up on Terry's question, are you saying they should write a story? Are you going that far? How else can Newsweek, you know, satisfy you here?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, as I said, we would encourage them to continue working diligently to help repair the damage that has been done because of this --
Q Are you asking them to write a story?
MR. McCLELLAN: -- talking points, talking points, no relevance to the question
Q Are you asking them to write a story about how great the American military is; is that what you're saying here?
MR. McCLELLAN: Elisabeth, let me finish my sentence. Our military --
Q You've already said what you're -- I know what -- how it ends. (Oh shit! No she did not just call him on his crap!)
MR. McCLELLAN: Avoidance, avoidance, blah, blah, blah...we would encourage them to take steps to help repair the damage. And I think that they recognize the importance of doing that. That's all I'm saying. (I'm sorry, I had trouble following you on that one Scott. Are you asking Newsweek to sacrifice their journalistic integrity, or not?)

Q In context of the Newsweek situation, I think we hear the caution you're giving us about reporting things based on a single anonymous source. What, then, are we supposed to do with information that this White House gives us under the conditions that it comes from a single anonymous source?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, in terms of background briefings, if that's what you're asking about, which I assume it is, let me point out that what I'm talking about there are officials who are helping to provide context to on-the-record comments made by people like the President or the Secretary of State or others. I don't think that that is the issue here when it comes to the use or widespread use of anonymous sources by the media.So I think we need to talk about the larger issue here when we talk about it.
Q With all due respect, though, it sounds like you're saying your single anonymous sources are okay and everyone else's aren't. (The White House wants there to be a double standard? No way dude!)

All in all, the days tally was McClellan: 4 Press: 7. Not too shabby for a bunch of correspondence who are more broken in than my 6 year old mattress.

...the sound of minority rights being trampled

2005-05-18T08:40:00.000-05:00

Here's thescript for the 'nuclear option'. My favorite thing is how they already know how this will all turn out. Politics with out the drama, why bother?

But, seriously, the best thing is how the Senate parliamentarian, you know the guy "who typically rules on what is allowable under the chamber's rules and precedents." is opposed to the fascist plan.

No worries though, a senior Republican Senate aide confirmed that Frist does not plan to consult Frumin at the time the nuclear option is deployed. "He has nothing to do with this," the aide said. "He's a staffer, and we don't have to ask his opinion." No shit? Why even bother having his useless ass on the payroll? Oh that's right, you'd be happy to consult him if you weren't ruthlessly gutting the most staid of American institutions.

Well, I'm going to start learning my Ave Maria's. 'Cause once the filibuster gets tossed out, it won't be too much longer before the nut-jobs make church attendance mandatory for all Americans.

I can't help myself.

2005-05-18T08:12:00.000-05:00

Itunes is like crack. For two weeks now, I have been in an Apple-induced frenzy of uploaded music. On Sunday night, with the first wave of importing complete, I have started rating songs. It makes me feel good, it makes me feel bad. It really makes me feel like some sort of fucking addict. Its like I can't stop. I don't even think that I listened to an entire song yesterday. I'd listen long enough to put up a rating and then skip to the next song. This shit has got to stop. The reason I got the iPod was to listen to more music, and now I'm turning into a tech-junkie. At least I'll soon be able to listen to all of my 5-star songs. Sweet.

Fun with Fonts

2005-05-17T11:47:00.000-05:00

Yes, they are everywhere, but really, do fonts get the credit that they deserve? Well, no, probably not. At least the NYT is on top of the ball on this one. "Fonts are like the air: you don't notice them when they are fine, only when they are mucked up or obscure." But then, of course, they don't make any attempt to tell the reader what might make a font "mucked up" or "obscure." I guess that if you read the Times, you would know a quality font when you saw it. The article then meanders its way through a couple more little tidbits before mercifully ending. Of course, if the article was anything more than a number of tangentially related musings, some critical thought could actually be applied to the vast underworld of fonts and typography.

If you want to learn more you can try this book out for starters.

PS-The best part of the article is right at the end, when the author refers to a typeface as a "piece of graffito." That's right, she went to her dictionary to find out what the singular form of graffiti is. I applaud you, New York Times, for all of your elitist touches. The use of words like "graffito" is why the circulation numbers of the USA Today, aka the more dumbed-down paper in the world, spanks you every morning.

Columbia Heights Journal

2005-05-17T08:42:00.000-05:00

You know that gentrification is not complete when:

1. You get excited to discover where the guy who walks past your house and wakes you up every morning with his Tourettes-esque shouting lives. (13th and Harvard)

2. You drive the minivan around the block to find a legal parking space and the crazy woman with her brown-bagged can becomes amazed at your "magic."

Crazy: How'd ya do dat?
DCaf: What?
C: Pull up in that minivan? I saw you get in your truck, and now you come 'round the corner in dat thing. Its the same color, but your truck looked liked dat one. (Points to a beat up pick-up)
DCaf: Umm, sorry, same van.
C: Don't try pullin' my leg child. I know what I saw. That's a nice trick. (Takes a big pull from the bag and saunters down the street)

3. You bring a bottle of tequila over to a friends house and get accosted by a woman who really wants a drink. She tells you its her birthday and asks if you want to celebrate with her. Then she gives your balls a little rub before walking off, saying "Next time honey, next time."

Missing, Metro Train

2005-05-17T08:11:00.000-05:00

Where does a train go missing on the tracks? One moment, its 2 minutes away, the next gone. The next train doesn't show for another 6 minutes. How the fuck does a train just wander off the tracks? Thanks Metro, thanks.

Monday Afternoon: Clean Teeth Edition

2005-05-16T12:41:00.000-05:00

Nothing quite like a dentist's appointment to start off the week. But after a good weekend of eating and cleaning, who cares.

1. President Bush and Dick "the Cockmaster" Cheney released their annual financial disclosure papers, and surprise, surprise, after 4 years of Federal employment, they are both still stinking rich. So much so that Dick was able to shell out $595 for a desk clock for King George, and in return got a $425 globe.

2. The Supreme Court has decided that you can now buy your wine directly from the vintner, over the internet. States' rights be damned!

3. Poetry gone wild. Accusations of fraud fly across the internet! Were the contests rigged? The Chronicle of Higher Education reports. You decide.

Sorry, I think that the fluoride has gone to my brain.

Dead Friday

2005-05-13T14:13:00.000-05:00

I need to get used to this digital era that I have just plunged into.

Everyone else is the cube farm is on retreat, and I've been sitting around my abandoned office all day in silence, typing away at my desk. Now that my brain has kicked in, I've plugged into the pod and at least have some tunes to keep me sane.

I own a lot of crap.

2005-05-13T08:36:00.000-05:00

I started the move-prep by sorting through my accumulated wardrobe last night . Its kind of amazing going through and seeing all of the clothing that I have somehow accumulated over the past couple years that I never wear. Those olive wool pants? Tossed. That souvenir t-shirt that someone gave me at that Boston meeting? Trashed. The three piece polyester leisure suit from the '70's party? Goodbye.

But what about that 3rd white Oxford? The heavy crew-neck sweater? Those nice slacks that I never wear? Well, those can all find a home at my parents house, "for when I come back for the holidays."

Then you get down to the nitty-gritty. Space down to Austin is limited in the Echo of love, and tough decisions have to be made. How many t-shirts do I really need? Long pants in a place where the average coldest month is still 50 degrees? Will I even need suits or a blazer as a grad student?

I think that I could fit all of my clothes into two good-sized duffel bags. This is nothing compared to the giffer, but still...

Moving date is T-minus 18 days. Next: how drunk was I when I bought that third cheese platter?

Because my friends are meaner than yours.

2005-05-12T11:16:00.000-05:00

At first I was a little disturbed by this. That's right, the Washingtonian brought on a 13 year-old genius for an online chat. How cute. To have Wyatt and Boo prod her with questions that force her to face the challenges of life, is just wrong. But then I thought about it some more, and if she is going to do an internet chat, she's either not a smart as she thinks or else has some huge fucking cahones.

Boo gets the award for the cruelest question:
3:05 PM Washington, DC: you've been talking your book up, but no one has
read it. what if it bombs and popular culture doesn't accept it? how will that
affect you?

All that being said, she did a pretty good job at giving useless inane answers to all of these questions. So maybe she isn't so dumb.

Welcome to the Shit Show.

2005-05-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

Thank god I had "important" business yesterday morning and wasn't on the Mall to witness the evacuation fiasco. At least the oh-so holy national leaders we have showed their true colors, pissing their pants all the way to their SUV motorcades. Someday, we'll have to return to leading semi-normal live, but until then, we'll have to be afraid of everything.

Anyone have good pictures of the tourists and Hill-rats fleeing for their lives with that fear of God look on their faces?

Burning Questions, Morning Edition

2005-05-11T07:54:00.000-05:00

1. When do you become too old to drink from plastic cups on a regular basis? I'm not talking about Solo cups here, just regular-sized, plastic souvenir cups. I guess what I'm really asking is whether this is a generational phenomenon in which our parents never drank out of plastic cups because when they were young plastic hadn't been invented yet; a stage in life in which I will grow out of as I age; or is this a class issue that was never touched upon in my urban middle-class world?

On a related note, do you buy matching sets of silverware before or after you buy matching glassware?

2. Why is bird crap white? Britt, I'm really looking to you on this one, but I didn't want to clutter your email.

3. One of the young neighbors works for a certain evil place I like to call the Heritage Foundation. I know, repulsive. The other day I saw her and she was wearing what could only be called a sailor's outfit, navy blue top and skirt with garish white piping. Could conservative think-tanks require their employees to wear such ridiculous outfits or is this just a case of a Midwestern girl gone horribly astray?

Weezer's Make Believe

2005-05-10T15:25:00.000-05:00

Reading some of the reviews, I'm a little concerned. Sure Pitchfork can be hit or miss, but seriously, read this:

So does Make Believe completely ruin not just present-day Weezer, but
retroactively, any enjoyment to be had from their earlier work? I don't know-- I'm too scared to re-listen to those first two albums-- but it certainly appears that Make Believe will expertly extract the last remaining good graces the critical community has to offer latter-day Weezer, unless my colleagues' memories of slow-dancing with Ashley to "Say It Ain't So" are more powerful than I can possibly imagine. Of course, if Ashley went on to break your heart, fellow
critic, Make Believe might be just the medicine you need; put it on repeat and watch your emotional scar be obliterated as collateral damage in the torpedoing of Weezer's legacy.

I think that I will have to head down to Olsson's and listen to this one on the courtesy headphones before I drop the dime.

And all of this reminds me that I need to stick Pinkerton on my iPod. At least something good will come of all this.

At least Arianna's got one thing going on her "blog"

2005-05-10T08:38:00.000-05:00

Larry David. What more do you have to say. The man is a comic genius.

Why I Support John Bolton
I know this may not sound politically correct, but as someone who has abused and tormented employees and underlings for years, I am dismayed by all of this yammering directed at John Bolton. Let's face it, the people who are screaming the loudest at Bolton have never been a boss and have no idea what it’s like to deal with nitwits as dumb as themselves all day long. Why, even this morning my moronic assistant handed me a cup of coffee with way too much milk in it. I was incensed.

"You stupid ignoramus," I screamed, doing all I could to restrain myself from tossing the luke-warm liquid in her face. “There's too much freaking (I didn’t say freaking) milk in here! What the freak is wrong with you?!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she stammered. Like sorry’s going to fix everything. I’m not interested in sorry. Sorry doesn’t cut it with me.

“Look, you idiot,” I continued, “I wouldn’t mind so much if you gave me too little milk. Little can be fixed. We can add to little.”

“Shall I get you another cup?”

“No, I’ll suck on my thumb. Yes, get me another cup, you douche bag! And chew on this -- it’s going to cost you a dollar!”

This, of course, brought on the requisite tears. At which point I'd had enough and began chasing her down the hall where she took refuge in the bathroom. Boo-hoo. Poor thing!

Meanwhile, I’m the one who had to go into the kitchen and make my own coffee! And guess what? I missed a very important phone call from this masseuse whom I’d been trying to get an appointment with forever!!

(Sorry about all the exclamation points, but you can see how worked up I get over this Bolton business!)

There is one thing, though, I’ll guarantee: that will be the last time she puts in too much milk. So get to work, Bolton. Show these other countries who’s the boss.

For those of you interested in the history of your carry out...

2005-05-09T13:11:00.000-05:00

Slate provides non-stop action with A Short History of the Chinese Restaurant - From stir-fried buffalo to Matzoh Foo Young. By Jen Gish. The real kicker in all of this is that there are currently three times as many Chinese food restaurants than McDo's in the US of a.

Where do I eat more often? Well, I've never tried the Yum's II that is just down the hill, but I do order from City Lights and Mr. Chen's Organic Chinese Cuisine every once in a while. I have not eaten under the evil arches in many, many moons. (Could it be three or four years? Crap, what kind of fat Amur'can am I?) I guess that the Chinese food is winning the War on Digestive Terror.

News Flash

2005-05-09T10:32:00.000-05:00

The New York Times has determined that blogs aren't making anyone disgustingly wealthy. They suggest that if you have the spare capital, that you not invest it in a blog to make money. Other than that, its an interesting piece about the formation and function of the Gawker Media Empire.

Out of Shape Weekend

2005-05-09T08:27:00.000-05:00

1. In case you missed it, the Wizards won their first playoff series in 23 years. Yes, I was alive for it, but sometimes memories from when you were two years-old don't quite make an impact. I am very much looking forward to getting destroyed by Miami. I will hold out faith that we can steal one game at home, but any way the chips fall, I will be a happy fan.

2. My WAFC spring league team had it's tournament this weekend, that's ultimate, not softball or kickball. We didn't show up to play, but after four games and six hours of running, I now know what its like to have every muscle in my body ache. When did I get so out of shape? Well, it might have been sometime during the past two years, when I turned into a fucking slug. I'm really going to have to start running. As soon as I can walk up stairs again.

3. Went to the 'illadelph for Mother's Day. Had brunch with the GF's extended family before cruising back to DC for dinner with the folks. Good food, good laughs, good ideas which of the future in-laws won't be invited to the wedding ceremony.

4. Studied my ass off for my Art History final. What's that you say? Fletch, I didn't know that you were a student? Well, I am. Sort of. I am taking a class at a little place that we always referred to as Princeton on the Pike. That's right, the MK. Luckily, I seem to be rolling my way onto a second straight Dean's List, but I won't know for sure until after tonight. I hope that Texas is as forgiving with their grades.

5. Woke up this morning to the sound of one of my housemates just beating me into the shower. That's cool, we never have any problems, I'll just go make my lunch. Not done yet? I'll knock on the door to let her know that I'm waiting. Cool. I'll just pull out my clothes and get the rest of my shit ready. And wait. And wait. And wait.

What kind of retarded housemate takes a fuckin' half-hour in the shower in the morning? Apparently my cooler-than-thou hipster housemate, because I saw all my other housemates take off rather than wait in line. Thank god I'm moving out in three weeks. Otherwise I might have to explain to this housemate why I am no longer speaking to her. As it is, she probably won't notice.

Morning Hang-over Edition

2005-05-06T09:29:00.000-05:00

1. The OC still packs in the drama (Tre and Marissa, Seth at Spring Break, Kiki and the bottle...). Guilty pleasure made even better by...

2. Strong margaritas. These puppies from DCist will hit you like several shots of tequila. The good news is that it is now 10:30 the next morning and I have yet to boot. The bad news is that I'm not sure that's going to last.

3. Despite my best efforts to drink myself into an unmoving stupor by the time that the OC ended, I managed to stumble the two blocks to Chief Ike's for the DCist/Bluestate Cinco de Mayo festivities. We got there in time to catch sets from Information Leafblower and DCSOB, but I think that I arrived too late to catch most of the DCist crew. At least it was too late for me to recognize them. I think that I did manage to compliment DCSOB on his Kathleen Shafer shirt, and thank/paw Information Leafblower for his set right before I left. If my head wasn't spinning, I may have even told him the I like his blog. Ah well, maybe next year.

Yes, this is a sign of the Apocalypse

2005-05-05T15:36:00.000-05:00

Golden Palace Casino, which is home to the sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary and bought the naming rights to a baby (which they promptly named "GoldenPalace.com") has bought Britney Spears' alleged pregnancy test.

I now fear for the future generations. Although strangely, I would visit the odd objects, if they came on tour to DC.

A Look for Life

2005-05-05T13:22:00.000-05:00

Last night at an office happy hour at the Banana Cafe down there in Capitol Hill, I had the treat of being regaled with a slightly drunken story of how one of my co-workers had once sported a monocle. Yes, a monocle. She was 8. Apparently, she has terrible vision in one eye, and so she got this idea in her head that she would prance around with a monocle. Of course her mother refused. When Christmas time rolled around, all the 8 year-old wanted was a bike and a monocle. She got the bike. Then her crazy uncle gave her a monocle. Then she rode her bike while wearing the monocle.

In some ways I am really going to miss this place.

Cardiac Kids and iPod Ramblings

2005-05-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

Was anyone else a blubbering mess by the end of the Wizards game last night? The entire second half, you could see the collapse building, as the Baby Bulls worked away at our friggin' 24-point lead. Then Gilbert Arenas' last second floater...

Man, oh man, you've gotta love 'em, but you've got to hate them too. Still, my neck feels like its been in a vise.

Luckily after the game, I got to unwind with my new toys. I can definitely see how people get sucked into the Apple cult. I experienced my first commute as a pod-person this morning and let me tell you...it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to turn the volume up, but after that it was golden.

The real question that is going to plague me, is how the hell to people decide what to put on their iPods (I'm talking a 30GB here)? Do I just put on everything but the crap that I definitely don't listen to anymore? Do I weed out everything except for what I am really grooving to these days? Yeah, 30GB is a lot of space, but how much of it should be filled with the Pietasters and Face to Face? Am I really going to stick on the entire Bob Marley Catalogue? These are the questions that will haunt my mind.

The man says lemons, and lemons it is.

2005-05-04T12:52:00.000-05:00

DCist, as always, has read my mind. That's right, Scott has provided us with what appears to be the perfect margarita recipe. Is it really? I don't know, I haven't tried it yet. But I've met Scott, and he doesn't seem like the type of guy that lies too often to strangers.

Ingredients:
Lemons, 1-2 per cocktail
Limes, 1 per 8 cocktails
Kosher Salt
Tequila
Triple Sec
Ice

Proportions:
Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice : 1.5
Tequila : 1.25
Triple Sec : 1.0

Estimated glasses until I am tanked:
5

That being said, maybe I'll swing by the DCist Cinco de Mayo Happy Hour at Chief Ike's after a few pitchers of margaritas and a double-header of the OC.

Note to readers: I have not seen the OC in many moons, but it is a guilty pleasure that keeps me away from any sort of reality TV. That and Thursday night is my last chance to see Jake before his whirlwind tour of Central Europe and Central Connecticut.

Because the NY Times is on fire today

2005-05-04T12:23:00.000-05:00

Stephen Colbert to get the first Daily Show spin-off. Promoted as satirizing cable pundit programs such as DildO'Reilly and Sean Hannity, Colbert is going to get his own half-hour show immediately following the Daily Show.

and

New Yorkers have trouble using the pisser because they are so self-absorbed. In further news, they also try to crap as much as possible in restaurant toilets, and then feel guilty when the toilet doesn't flush their turds away.

Loews to publish actual showtimes for movies.

2005-05-04T12:22:00.000-05:00

Not really, but a disclaimer will note that the movie will actually start 10 to 15 minutes later. So if you're tired of sitting through those horrendously long Coke commercials, now you can accurately schedule your moviegoing experience.

The funniest part of this article is that bills requiring the real starting times in the paper listings have been brought up in both Connecticut and NYC. Screw poverty, let's legislate the important stuff!

I am like a pig in shit!

2005-05-04T12:11:00.000-05:00

Actually, I'm more like a guy who has a new iBook and iPod waiting for him at home. Same difference right?

I was never very good with metaphors and technically, this one was a simile.

Newspapers and Lifestyles

2005-05-03T12:56:00.000-05:00

I've already linked it today, but in case you missed it Newspaper circulation continues to decline. Is this surprising? No, quite frankly, its not, but it is troublesome. As fewer and fewer people purchase the major dailies, the news bureaus clearly will be losing money, and hence their ability to report effectively on the news.

But I'm no expert in the economics of the print media. So instead, I'll ponder why circulation is declining.

Lifestyle/Generational

First and foremost, there has been a lifestyle shift. My father wakes up every morning and goes through his morning routine, which involves sitting to eat breakfast and read the paper. I know of no one of my generation (the all important 18-34 year old demographic) who does this. I don't know people who eat breakfast at home in this go-go world of ours. If its not Starbucks or McD's, then it ain't being touched before lunch time. This fact alone explains why home delivery is unpopular with younger workers.

Technology

On the commute, half the riders on my metro are plugged into their iPods listening to music, rather than reading even the free Express. Once I'm at work, am I really going to pull out a newspaper at my desk? I mean, if I had an office with a door, maybe, but in the cube farm? If it ain't on my computer screen I'm not reading it.

Internet

Yes, free news content on the internet does impact subscription numbers, but come on, do you really get as much news on the internet as you would from reading the paper cover to cover? I certainly don't. Furthermore, e-books and even audio-books haven't impacted the sales of books in the same fashion as critics of free internet news have claimed for newspapers.

Television

And yes, more people are getting their news from CNN and *gasp* Fox News, but even the numbers for broadcast news are dropping. In the evening, people don't want to read news that is almost a day old, when they can just zone out in front of their jumbotron flat screen and watch Brit Hume make an ass of himself.

What would get me back?

I am probably never going to subscribe to daily delivery. I just don't make the time before work/on the commute to read the paper. By the time I get home, its old news already and I can watch TV.

Even if the major players started charging for web content?

I most likely would not pay for content. Personally, I think that it is wrong to pay for something that is taking time away from the job that is paying me to do other things. Too many ethical lines are being crossed there for me.

Interestingly enough, I could see myself reading an evening paper when I got home from work like the Evening Star or the SF Examiner. I for one would prefer to read a copy of the Post when I got home (provided that it had that current day's copy and was of a comparable quality to the WaPo), rather than tune into CNN. But maybe that's just me.

In the end, newspapers may simply be turning into a relic of a past era that is being replaced by newer and more relevant technologies. God, I hope not. I for one hate to rely on anything as dumbed down as television or unfiltered (as in edited by someone who knows what they are talking about) as the internet.

DC voting rights are up for debate

2005-05-03T09:14:00.000-05:00

Apparently the NIMBY representative from the VA has decided that maybe DC residents are American citizens too. Of course, he giving the crazy Mormons another vote in the House also, but after more than 200 years, you take what you can get.

Hopefully, racism and partisan politics won't torpedo this bill, like every other attempt to rectify the gross injustice that is DC's Congressional Representation. I for one am not going to hold my breath. Besides, only four more months until I start my journey to become a citizen of Texas. Representation and no income tax! Who knew life could be so good?

Maybe I should start subscribing to the Sunday Times

2005-05-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

I know that people like me are the reason for declining subscription rates, but trashy articles will, like, totally make me reconsider. From Fishbowl NY:

"Just when you thought they couldn't top naked man-swimming, the New York Times Sunday Styles section goes and parades cheap homemade porn as a new hot hipster trend.
The setup couldn't be easier for a punchline here, but even our middling comedic efforts deserve better fodder than this. Oh, fine, how about: "So far more than 100 women from 18 to 25 have appeared on the Web site."
Is it too late for me to change my headline? "The NYT: Directing thousands of readers to pictures of naked 18-year olds."
Meanwhile, not even Jenny 8. is wishing she wrote this.
Wearing Nothing but Attitude [NYT]"

I hope that I never have to come home to find that my living room has been rented out to C-Heights hipsters. Especially just after I mopped the floor.

DCFUD, making a list, checking it twice

2005-05-02T13:10:00.000-05:00

I may not agree 100% with all of their picks on the restaurants, but they get it close enough to get a link with no bitching.

DCFUD Rates DC.

Parenthetical Monday Edition (also "the Sports Page")

2005-05-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

Well, it was a busy fucking weekend in this fair city of ours.

1. Friday night under the lights at "the Bobby."

Who calls RFK "the Bobby"? I don't know, but I do know that on Friday night the Nats beat those evil Mets. It still feels very sweet to actually watch the "home" team in front of a home crowd. (WaPo reports that the Nats rank 13th in attendance, and the announced attendance for Friday was over 30,000. However, there were an awful lot of empty seats for a stadium that was supposedly at 2/3 capacity.)

2. Last time it happened, I was 7. And they were the Bullets. And it was at the Cap Center.

I was on hand to witness the Wizards win their first playoff game in 17 years! The crowd was really into it, and the game was exciting to the end. Well, as long as you like seeing the Wiz win their first playoff game in 17 years, it was exciting to the end. (And yes, I got to see all of the action. Being in the very last row at the MCI Center is not as bad as you might think. And for $15 I'll be back there for Game 6. Although maybe not as many $7 Miller Lites.)

3. Red Sage Cafe after the game.

Ummm, maybe would have been better if I'd had fewer of the aforementioned Miller Lites, but I don't think so. Food was OK, but overpriced. Margaritas were better, but even more overpriced ($32 a pitcher. We definitely did not need the second pitcher.). (I will not be returning here in the next eight weeks. I suggest that you don't either, unless you're up for dropping the dough to eat downstairs at the "grill.")

4. Hipsters are just like you and me, only they really want to talk about how cool they are.

I was talked into agreeing to a party at my (group) house this weekend. Good idea, except I had other shit to do, rather than clean and prepare the house to my hipster housemates specification. (I won the bad housemate award for the first half of the weekend.) When I did finally show up, I was glad that the girl at the door didn't press me for the entry fee they were charging (oh, did I mention that they were charging to enter the house and drink keg beer? Where are we? High school?) to raise money for a hipster fashion group. Then I got to talk with hipsters. Who really like talking about themselves. But I did discover two things: 1. This party was really like every other party in DC where the first question is "What do you do?," followed closely by "Where did you go to school?" (if the cross-examiner thinks that they can impress you with their institution of higher learning.) Sweet. 2. I don't have to listen to hipsters drivel on about how cool their non-profit job is and how they are saving the world from corporate greed (you're a program assistant, get over yourself) because I stun the hipsters with the fact that my job actually is interesting and different. Score one for me. (oh, and when hipsters attend your party, they leave the house a filthy wreck just like everyone else. But they also leave their kegs and their turntables. If these are not gone by the time I get home from class tonight, check craigslist for some cheap shit.)

4. Preparing for a party is a lot more fun than cleaning up afterwards.

Now, I didn't help set up at all. Do I feel bad? A little, but frankly, none of my friends attended (because of the cover charge) and I was only there so that I could keep one of my other housemates sane. But in the morning (actually from 1-6 in the afternoon), were the party planners around? Nope. Sweet, I got to mop the floors and move the furniture back into place by myself! This is why I love you guys! Well, after a hard fought struggle, you guys won the bad housemate award by unanimous decision. (Of course, you probably won't even notice that the house was cleaned due to your appointment with further self-involvement. On the positive side, I now feel completely free from any sort of house-responsibilities until I move out next month.)

Art Friday

2005-04-29T08:11:00.000-05:00

Inspired by DCist's look at the evolving field of Art Criticism, I'll throw in my two cents about the Corcoran's Senior Thesis Exhibits. Every spring for about a month, the Corcoran gives a chunk of its exhibition space over to its students Senior Theses. Displaying the works of students in all fields of art (well, fine art, photography, graphic design, and something else), there is an "opening"every Thursday night with food and drink. While reception is technically "by invitation only," just act like you belong. Or just go for the art.

Personally, I was very impressed with the quality of work put up by the graphic art students. I've always gotten weak in the knees when I see good design work, and I was practically falling over looking at everything on the wall. The books that the design students came up with were also very well done, although my one point of criticism is that they were all bound in the same fashion. Not a particularly interesting form, but my guess is that all took the same basic bookbinding class and didn't venture beyond what they had learned there. Picky point, I know, but as someone who loves books and bindings, I would have loved to have seen more advanced work.

While there, I also perused the Biennial which I had shamefully not yet seen. I went in with high expectations, and I came out a bit disappointed. Not that it was bad, but I would have to say that most of the contemporary art was not my style. There were a few artists whose works I really enjoyed: Matthew Buckingham's One Side of Brooklyn montage; James Huckenpahler's digitally manipulated art; and John Lehr's photographs. In a brief recap of a brief recap, overall underwhelming, but with some works that are well worth the visit.

Much more impressive is the Corcoran's 2005 Print Portfolio. Again, this may be a personal preference issue, but I was quite impressed with the selections for the 2005 portfolio. The were some excellent etchings and lithographs that I would love to buy were I not poverty stricken. Ah well.

Bringing it all home...

2005-04-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

For those who care, I just gave my official notice. 7 weeks and I'm gone. Again.

They know where my blog lives!

2005-04-28T08:47:00.000-05:00

For your morning's entertainment, I will direct you to the fun thread surrounding my thoughts on the CPMC. You thought it was all done, but no! Apparently, my criticism really hit the hot button over there. One man, one blog, changing the world!

2005-04-27T09:49:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget how pretty this city actually is, if you can find a way past the traffic and tourists. Last night I found myself down on the mall well after the museums had closed, and I'll be damned if it wasn't gorgeous! The Hirshhorn looked like the futuristic building as it was originally envisioned, rather than the concrete doughnut that it looks like during the day. The Smithsonian Castle and Arts and Industries buildings looked positively Victorian (or is it Georgian?) lit up by their street lamps. And standing in the middle of the mall, you could look to the Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial without having to worry about being plowed over by a school group.

PS- I hope the drunk Small Business Association Conference attendee that I led to the Metro station safely made it home to Fairfax last night. I don't know how long the open bar was going at the Air and Space Museum for you guys last night, but I'm sure that you made your small business proud with your uncanny knack to put 'em back.

The Demons of Academia

2005-04-26T13:42:00.000-05:00

The study of history is always a touchy subject. Many topics are deemed to boring for attention, while others are too controversial. As a requirement of my history major, I took a class on historiography, or historical theory. Basically this class addressed how historians address various "problems" in history, whether it be theories such as Marxism or feminism, or challenging topics such as the Holocaust. I will never forget reading Iris Chang's The Rape of Nanking with its horrific descriptions of the Japanese rape and pillage of the Chinese city of Nanking in 1937. To this day, it stands on my bookshelf as a reminder to how societies can agree to overlook the horrors that they inflict on one another, but how the survivors can not forget.

I miss a lot of things in life, but I don't know how I missed this last year. Six years after publishing on one of the most traumatic events in Eastern Asia, Iris Chang committed suicide. This is an interesting piece from the Times that I think does justice to her life and her life's work.

Yeah, and the blogger spell-checker blows too!

2005-04-26T13:21:00.000-05:00

Once again, someone is taking action against the bad grammar in the world! No, not Jake, a person who actually counts in the grand scheme of things. Prof. Sandeep Krishnamurthy of the University of Washington is taking on Microsoft Word's grammar tools! Why would he possibly do this, you might ask yourself? Well, the tool lets in such acceptable sentences as "Marketing are bad for brand big and small. You Know What I am Saying? It is no wondering that advertisings are bad for company in America, Chicago and Germany." and gosh darn it, Sandeep thinks that is wrong.

As amusing as I may find the concept of attacking a digital grammar tool in this age of falling educational standards, I have to agree that the Microsoft grammar police do about as good a job correcting mistakes as a mildly illiterate fourth grader. Or your average Live Journal writer.

At least there's one good thing in Cleveland Park

2005-04-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

Indique. Delicious.

For great, if slightly upscale, Indian food, Indique certainly challenges Heritage India for some of the best Indian food in DC. The Fletch had the lamb Biriyani, with its blend of basmati rice, herbs, raisins, and nuts. It was succulent and sweet without being overwhelming. The Pa' had the Chicken Appam, which is a fermented rice bread served with stewed chicken and vegetables. Tasty, and something to be considered for a future visit. The Ma' had some of the small plates (Dohkla and the Crab Tikki, neither of which were overwhelming) and the Bisque ala Indique (which was rich and creamy). The GF had the Chicken Chettinad which I didn't get to try (feel free to chime in), but she felt that they might have short changed her on the spice factor, considering that the dish was "not for the faint-hearted" and she had nary a tingle on her tongue.

Overall, an excellent place to go for a classy meal. Although, I think that I will have to try out a biriyani recipe at home to see if I can add this aromatic dish to the ol' repertoire.

Somedays, you just got to call it like you see it.

2005-04-25T13:08:00.000-05:00

If you trust me to filter things for you, then please do not ever go to the Cleveland Park Men's Club Blog. I know that there is some inane crap in the blogiverse, but some shit just makes me queasy. In case you took my advice, here are some highlights (really, these are more like supporting points, rather than highlights, but the English language does not always contain the best conceptual phrases).

First of all, they have given themselves nicknames, like "The Mayor," "The Senator," "The Dean," "The Producer"... Shit, I wish I was so important that I could invent my own nickname that was prefaced with an article. Does The Fletch roll off the tongue?

Then they get rolling with the "good" stuff.

Capo’s decided that men in this city could use a bit of guidance, on matters of
male protocol and such. Too many goofballs are running around that have
forgotten, or worse, never even learned about the old school code of respect.

This "guidance" includes such important things as "DO: Re-rack your weights," "DON’T: Get in front of the mirror while someone is doing a set," "DON’T: Wear flip-flops," and "DO: Buy a cool pair of lightweight shoeneakers." Shoeneakers? WTF? I had to search on google, and I still don't know what they are talking about. Perhaps they meant sneakers? Perhaps they meant an athletic looking slide of some sort to fit in with their uber-masculine ways? Your guess is as good as mine. As for the gym advice, sweet man. As I type this, I am flexing in the mirror and kissing my guns. How do I do this, you may ask yourself? Well, that is why we all need a man-servant to do our bidding. What CPMC, you don't have a man servant?

One last piece to make you coming back for more

Seems like I wrote a little something that was a bit too heavy for the
folks in DC. Just for the record, I'm the serious one around here. Maybe it's
because my daddy taught me how to put a bullet in a deer right underneath the
shoulder blades at 250 yards out, fight a nurse shark until the blisters on your
hands start to break open, set the timing on a blown Chevy 454, and wire a house
from the ground up. Or maybe it's because my grandpop worked 50 years in a meat
locker to feed six kids, and cracked skulls on the side to makes ends meet.
Could just be the four years I spent running a chainsaw crew full of guys that
didn't make it past the seventh grade. Guys that could put the average college
punk right in his place with a simple "Shut your mouth, yah little bitch pussy,
before I come over there and skull-fuck yah pretty-boy ass."

That's right, and now you live in Cleveland Park. Looks like not everything is genetic. Oh yeah, and you left out hump goats, stone heretics, and master the use of fire. Good job college boy.

The Great State of Texas Is Gonna' Pay Your Rent

2005-04-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

A long weekend in Austin certainly made me feel a lot better about going to grad school in the fall. A quick recap of lesson learned this weekend.

1. There are a lot of cute neighborhoods filled with funky shops and good, cheap restaurants. Hyde Park, Clarksville, South Austin... I really don't know how I going to figure out where to live.

2. It was 85 degrees down there, while this city was suffering a late spring cold spell. I need more shorts and fewer pants. Cut-offs anyone?

3. Despite the fact that Austin was named the 9th best city in the country for walking, no one seems to do it. The car culture is very much ingrained in the minds of the locals. On the upside, there seems to be a great bus system, so maybe I won't have to roll in the Echo too often.

4. A lot of things reminded me of Santa Cruz: outrageously friendly people, everything being outdoors, great Mexican food...

5. I may very well be the only male in my program. Take that as you will.

Back to the grind for a little while longer.

Classy or Trashy?

2005-04-21T11:37:00.000-05:00

Springtime in DC, cherry blossoms blooming, birds chirping, 18 year-old tourists wearing short skirts, does it get any better? Well, yes, it does. Springtime is not only the season of rampant hormonal mating, but it also brings horse-racing and the Triple-Crown (sorry, the corporate whore Visa Triple Crown) to the masses. As always, we have two great and very different races in the DC Area.

The more publicized event has to the Preakness Stakes. This massive orgy of beer and horses at the Pimlico racetrack in B-more means that all the state-schoolers pile into the infield to flood their systems with cheap beers as the egg on their rival schools to see who's women have the nicer breasts. As judged by the 50,000 other people in the infield.

The lesser known, but equally fun Virginia's Gold Cup brings it at a whole different level. This oh-so-classy event is for the pink shirt-blazer or seer-sucker suit crowd. Mint Juleps, straight bourbon, and wine the entire day. The race itself is a steeplechase field event, so instead of running in small circles, the horses trot around a big field jumping over things. There is much falling down to the delight of the tipsy crowd.

Two years ago, I went to Preakness and got my drink on there, but last year, I was able to use the native connections to score an all access pass to the Gold Cup, including a ticket to the after party, where I was able to get down with the owners, the jockeys, and the Navy Seals who had parachuted in as part of the celebration. This year I am really struggling with my options. Do I go upscale again or do I just throw down to the Preakness rules of "no liquor, no bottles. Kegs? Are those glass?". Sometimes life is so hard.

RFK, thou art beauteous to behold

2005-04-21T10:59:00.000-05:00

I went to my first Nats game last night, a nice victory over NL East foe Atlanta. I have to say that if every night at RFK is as nice as last night, I could see myself spending a lot of time watching the new home team this spring. It was a snap getting there right after work (although, I would suggest bringing some food and beers to tailgate before hand). We splurged for the $10 seats in right field and I'd say it was probably worth the three extra dollars. Not that you couldn't just sneak up, but...

Food and beer was of course over-priced (chicken tenders and fries $8.50, hot dog $4, Italian sausage $5.50, miller, bud, coors $5, blue moon $6.50) But really, thirty bucks for a ticket some food and a couple of beers? Not too shabby. And if the Nats keep on winning it'll be that much sweeter.

Going back to RFK was a memory filled experience. Many of my earliest sports memories came from watching the Redskins take the field in the fall. I even saw one of my first baseball games at RFK, during a spring exhibition game featuring none other than the Montreal Expos. I was sad to notice that they took down the ring of heroes, or whatever they call the DC sports hall-of-fame, even the few Senators who managed to sneak up between the Redskin greats, but hopefully they will find their way to the new stadium, cause its not like Dan Snyder bought those names, right?

As always, leaving the stadium is a giant pain in the ass, and the crowds mob the Stadium/Armory Station like it is their only chance at survival. I decided to make the walk to Union Station, and I have to say that it was a very pleasant 25 minute stroll. Of course if morons keep falling over the railings, the Orange line might be our only hope.

Keep your fat, bigoted fingers off of my home

2005-04-21T08:04:00.000-05:00

Not only is national representation out of the question, apparently home-rule only stands if we follow the bigoted path of the Republican Congress. That's right, duly elected officials from other places feel that they have the right to interfere with how the District is run.