Going for a walk, taking a piss.
A few nights ago, the gf and I were out for a stroll in Mt. P, and I found myself really needing to take a piss. We stopped by a friend's house, but no one was home. What do you do now? I mean easy answer right? Step into a dark alley and try not to hit anything that you wouldn't want to have pissed on.
Clearly, this could not just go smoothly. As I'm mid-stream, two dog walkers pass behind me in the alley. Who walks their dogs through an alley at 10pm? By the time I zip up and walk out of the alley, I figure that they should be far enough on their merry way that we can all pretend that an awkward situation of walking passed a stranger pissing in public never happened. Wrong.
There they are kind of hovering around. You can just sense that they want to say something. Chastise me for picking their alley to piss in. Not going to happen. I cross over the street while the gf takes a phone call. The dog walkers take a right. We give them a second and then take a left. Conflict averted.
Ten minutes later we cross paths with the dog-walkers. Evil glares are received. So here is my apology. Sorry for pissing in an alley. Next time that I need to piss, I will make like your dogs and piss on a fire hydrant. Social mores my ass.
Clearly, this could not just go smoothly. As I'm mid-stream, two dog walkers pass behind me in the alley. Who walks their dogs through an alley at 10pm? By the time I zip up and walk out of the alley, I figure that they should be far enough on their merry way that we can all pretend that an awkward situation of walking passed a stranger pissing in public never happened. Wrong.
There they are kind of hovering around. You can just sense that they want to say something. Chastise me for picking their alley to piss in. Not going to happen. I cross over the street while the gf takes a phone call. The dog walkers take a right. We give them a second and then take a left. Conflict averted.
Ten minutes later we cross paths with the dog-walkers. Evil glares are received. So here is my apology. Sorry for pissing in an alley. Next time that I need to piss, I will make like your dogs and piss on a fire hydrant. Social mores my ass.
posted by Fletch at
8:55 AM
2 Comments:
Because I live along a major pedestrian road to get to and from Adams Morgan bars, I'm always chasing alley pissers away from my driveway. I surely can't stand the smell of urine where I park my car.
Half the time the jackasses are so drunk they just stand there and smile at you with their junk hanging out pissing on your wall.
By
cs, at 11:16 AM
Mass I sympathize. I live on the way to the Morgue from C-heights, and people found it convenient to piss in the entryway to my basement apartment on several occasions. This explains my guilty conscience, but in the end, pissing in a dark alley, where there are no cars or trash cans is a pretty victimless crime. Except for those damn dog-walkers. The knowledge of being caught drives my malaise.
By
Fletch, at 12:31 PM
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