Because the NY Times is on fire today

Stephen Colbert to get the first Daily Show spin-off. Promoted as satirizing cable pundit programs such as DildO'Reilly and Sean Hannity, Colbert is going to get his own half-hour show immediately following the Daily Show.

and

New Yorkers have trouble using the pisser because they are so self-absorbed. In further news, they also try to crap as much as possible in restaurant toilets, and then feel guilty when the toilet doesn't flush their turds away.